Wine fountains

“Big nose…that’s it.”

Behind me is a middle-aged guy with a shirt unbuttoned dangerously low for a Boston winter, even at a wine tasting. He’s talking to himself, registering the wine in a loud way so we can all hear him.

“This one feels boxy.”

He either knows his stuff, or bluffs like a poker champion. I am busy trying to figure out the differences between a cabernet from Argentina and another from Napa valley, so I stop paying attention to his mumblings. Playing connoisseur takes a lot of energy and determination.

I suddenly hear “pssssssssssssssssssss.”

This man is spitting wine out of his nose, eye sockets and every other orifice connected to his mouth. The Italian cabernet is flowing out of him as if he were the fontana di trevi. I suspected this guy of having done some tasting before coming to the store, and the wine coming out of his nose seems to confirm my suspicions.

Unfortunately for my friends, they get caught in friendly fire and are forced-showered with red wine. The man feels horrible, and oddly starts kissing my friend’s hand in apology. We are all weirded out, but he doesn’t seem to mind his indiscretion for more than a split moment. He buys them the bottle of wine he sprayed them with, and continues the tasting, mumbling under his breath lots of adjectives

Morale of the story: at a wine tasting, stand in the back row.

Sugar Mountains

I get off the lift but am too busy to notice my surroundings just yet. I rode to the top of Mt. Kagura alone, and have been following on the footsteps of a group of Japanese riders that obviously know the mountain well.

We all congregate around the lift area and sit on our asses while fixing our loose boot to the snowboard. We exchange a few looks and smiles, and I can tell that I am welcome to follow them. My bright orange helmet is a source of amusement and soon enough we are all strapped in and start riding away, except that we head in the opposite direction of the marked runs.

It snowed all of yesterday and overnight, and I woke up to a bright sunny day with no wind and more than half a meter of fresh snow on the ground. I’ve been eyeing the top of the mountain all day long, and finally after lunch I rode several lifts for half an hour to get here.

There is a flimsy rope that separates the marked runs from the wilderness, but it’s no serious obstacle. We simply duck and ride past it. We keep going a little bit longer until we reach the edge of the mountain and I finally pause to take in the scenery. I’m in the middle of the Japanese alps, and there are snowed mountains as far as my eyes can see. Before me there is a steep bowl full of fresh powder snow, with a few trees dotting the landscape. We exchange nods, and drop in one after the other.

My legs are on fire, keeping the snowboard stable while I ride the mountain far faster than I should. I take a right to avoid a tree, and soon enough I separate from the group. They are taking a small run to go back to the same lift and repeat the exercise, but I want to ride the mountain to the bottom on these unexplored runs. I ride the top of a ridge until it’s over and drop into a second steep bowl, but with more trees this time. The snow is light and feathery. I spot rabbit trails and a couple of skiers who are trying their best to keep from sinking in the meters of snow below them.

After five minutes of serious riding, I reach the cafeteria below and find my travel mates waking up from a well-deserved nap. I insert 150 yen into a vending machine and collect a warm can of cafe au lait. From my pocket I produce a frozen granola bar and nibble at it here and there. The grin on my face is obvious.

“How was the run?” — they ask.

I am reminded of my favorite cookie recipe –  brown butter meltaways by Sherry Yard. The last step is to dust the cookies with icing sugar, and Yard’s suggestion is to think of the mountains of Austria to know how much sugar to add.

“It was like a big bowl of icing sugar, and I was floating on it.”

On the road, with a travel mug

Americans fly a lot for a good reason. This is a damn big country, and I’m sitting in a bus, facing a 14-hour ride that will merely move me from the East Coast to lake Ontario.

I would try to make conversation with the other passengers, but they are all encapsulated in their little bubbles deploying various strategies to fight boredom. There are few people on board anyway, so we all spread out and took double seats. A nearby couple has been smooching for a while and doing whatever it is they are doing underneath a big coat. At least they are quiet and whatever noise they do make is muffled by the engines. Another guy has been sleeping for the last five hours across the aisle from me, even though we boarded the bus at 9.30am. Guess he stayed up last night. One thing for sure, his neck will hurt because his head has been bouncing around aimlessly for five hours.

I’ve carved my little kingdom and stretch my legs into the aisle. I watch movies in my computer until the battery runs out, and then look out the window for entertainment. Except that all is covered in snow, and as far as I can tell, there isn’t much to see in upstate New York. Maybe summer is prettier, but for now, all I see are rolling hills covered in snow, and the occasional billboard.

After five hours on the road, the driver announces a pit stop. We will have 1.5 hours to stretch our legs, eat lunch and do “whatever it is that you need to do” according to the driver. That is a loose sentence with plenty of room for interpretation.

I step off the bus, but realize I’m in the middle of nowhere. We are at a gas station, and there is a McDonald’s and a minimart attached. Walking anywhere is useless, unless you like walking knee-deep in snow looking for a few remaining blackberries still on the bush.

I walk into an unexpectedly crowded McDonald’s. There are several families, fighting to keep their children under control. These parents expect a child to continue sitting still even after several hours of sitting in a car. And they give them sugary drinks on top of it. Good luck with that.

I walk over and order a burger sans the fries. Then I find a spot at the counter facing the window and munch on my mystery meat with tomatoes, lettuce and healthy dose of mayo. Cars come and go. This place is an oasis in the middle of nowhere.

I notice that McDonald’s has espresso machines, and decide to caffeinate myself ahead of the ride.

“Can I get a latte in here please?”, I say to the girl while handing her my travel mug.

She looks puzzled.

She continues to look puzzled.

“Carrie, could you come to the front?” She announces into the loudspeaker.

A plump woman in her forties arrives, and she shows her my travel mug.

I gather they don’t know what to charge me. Finally, Carrie makes an executive decision and pours me a medium latte in a paper cup, which she then dumps into my travel mug. So much for the environment. At least the insulated walls will keep my drink hot, and the spill-proof cap will prevent me from showering my fellow bus riders with coffee at some bumpy turn.

While Carrie is busy pushing buttons away into the automatic espresso maker, I continue the transaction at the till.

“That will be a medium latte. 2.78 please”

I hand her a five.

“From five…and will that be for here or to go?”

I look at her in puzzlement, but she repeats the question.

“For here or to go?

“In the cup please,” I say.

“Yes, but will that be for here or to go.”

“I’ll take my travel mug with me.”

She tries to ask me a third time, but I use a small pause to take a step back and collect my mug from the coffee station. She gets it.

I return to the counter, where I kill time until it’s time to board the bus and continue for another eight hours until my destination. That McDonald’s was an oasis in the middle of nowhere — I don’t see any signs of human activity for quite a while and it’s getting dark. I take a sip of my coffee, and settle down to watch another movie. At least I recharged my battery.

Sandwiches!

I’m a sucker for bread, and all things layered inside bread.

The last two months I tried some seriously good sandwiches. I’m still of the opinion that Chilean sandwiches come out on top, but there’s some good contenders.

From top to bottom: Thinly sliced pork loin with tomato, mayonnaise and saurkraut (Chile); Dinamica hot-dog — avocado, tomato, mayo, relish and chilies (Chile); Cubano sandwich in Miami with lots of pork.

My brother’s dream sandwich in Chile — thinly sliced beef, cheese, eggs and bacon…a heart attack between bread; Chacarero — beef with tomato, green beans and chily (chile); and a churrasco italiano — beef, tomato, avocado and mayo. In Chile, ordering an Italian sandwich means you’ll get the colors of the flag — tomato, avocado and mayo.

I went to Carnegie deli in New York to attempt one of the huge sandwiches they serve. You can tell the tourists from the regulars right away. Us, tourists, laugh when the load of meat shows up and take pictures, whereas regulars get right down to business. Some guy in front of me managed to finish the thing in under 15 minutes. This is the “Woody Allen” sandwich, with loads of pastrami and corned beef. While the meat was excellent, I didn’t enjoy it — it’s just way too much meat and no balance. The homemade pickles are great.

The bottom sandwich is a pork belly concoction I ate at Momofuku’s noodle bar in the East village. There was something about the ueber-cool atmosphere of Momofuku that made me uncomfortable, but the sandwich is gorgeous. Crispy and juicy pork belly, some kind of sweet sauce, cucumbers and scallions….ah…this is the closest contender to a Chilean moster sandwich!

Tastes like ass

“Excuse me waiter, what is in the special bbq set?”

“A mix of pork, beef, sausage and organ meat”

“Such as…?”

“Blood sausage, cow utters, tripe, etc.”

“We’ll have one of those.”

Thirty minutes later I’m munching on some mystery piece of meat that was not in the original list. I already ate the utter and the tripe, while my mom’s partner is happily munching on a blood sausage.

“Excuse me waiter, what is this cut of meat? I’ve never seen it before.”

“That is the rear end of the cow.”

“…”

“…”

“You mean, the cow’s ass?”

“Well, not the outside.”

“I’m eating the colon and the anus?”

The waiter looked uncomfortable that I was speaking too loud and might scare other customers.

“It’s perfectly clean, and tasty. Wouldn’t you agree?”

During my time as a restaurant critic in Tokyo I ate a fair amount of strange cuts, the weirdest of which was beef “throat” or whatever you call the meat that hangs underneath a cow’s jaw. But charcoal-roasted cow anus is a first for me.

The ass was hidden underneath the mountain of meat

Besieged by Choice

Madagascar Vanilla extract, Mexican, Tahitian, Sri Lankan, fair trade, with no alcohol, real vanilla beans…

One thing I know for sure — real cooks don’t buy artificial vanilla, even though it costs five times less.

Next to the vanilla was the salt.

Kosher, table salt, Himalayan rock salt, truffled, sea salt, smoked, black salt, red Hawaiian salt, fleur de sel…

I am besieged by choice.

Tuscan olive oil, light olive oil, Kalamata olive oil, Spanish, Greek, wrapped in golden foil…

I am tempted to blame the food network, but that would be an easy way out. Part of me must like having this vocabulary at my disposal.

French Roast, Viennese Roast, Colombian, Mocha Java, Arabica, Robusta, Kenyan, Blue Mountain…

As I stood at whole foods contemplating my vanilla choices and whether they would make a difference once I added one of ten available salts, I started thinking about graduate school and how it is flooding my brain with vocabulary.

Functionalism, Structural Functionalism, Structuralism, post-structuralism, post-modernism, semiotics…

I am tempted to blame my teachers, but that would be an easy way out. Part of me must like having this vocabulary at my disposal.

Moiety, hegemonic blocs, commodity fetishism, deconstruction…

As I read through my books and try to decide which words from the endless list of academic jargon I find most useful, I am mentally transported back to whole foods and the vanilla counter.

Only that, at the end of most days, all I want is a simple slice of bread and butter.

Obama and the republic

Johan Galtung argues that there are two faces to the United States — there’s the empire, and there’s the republic.

As a Latin American, I grew up listening to tales of the empire. The US government conspired to topple democratically-elected presidents, supported dictators, extracted resources and treated the region as its backyard. I was hardly impressed.

At the same time, the ideals on which the US was founded are noble. The right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness are at the core of US idealism, and it is an amazing set of beliefs.

George W. Bush brought out some of the nastier elements of the US empire. It reminded us that after the cold war, the US could act unilaterally, that it would behave in its own interest, and the rest of the world would have to adapt. It didn’t sound so different from tales of US interference in Latin America. No wonder we hesitated.

Obama stands as a reminder that there is more to the US than its imperial face. The republic lives on, and he’s proof of the best side of this country, its virtues and merits.

It’s impossible to expect Obama to govern without having to run the empire. He will certainly get his hands dirty, and engage with the less-appealing aspects of ruling the only super-power in the world.

But, yes, you did. You reminded the rest of us that the United States has multiple faces. Those of us who are used to seeing the empire saw the United States in this election for its humanity.

Tofu histories

“How long have you had this shop?”

“Before the war”

I’m not surprised by the answer. She looks like she’ll be checking out anytime soon.

“Do you still make tofu the same way?”

“Some little changes here and there, but basically the same. What can you change about it? It’s tofu.”

I arrived at this shop by chance. I would have never found the neighborhood unless my cellphone told me to go this way. I was on my way to get my hair cut, and decided to go by bike. Tokyo streets are notorious for never going straight, so I input the hairstylist’s address in my cellphone’s GPS and followed the instructions.

I eventually drove into a shopping arcade that seemed stuck in time. Small stores dotted the sideways, and mothers with children on their bikes were the queens of the road.

After driving past the main buzz of the arcade, and having already loaded on fruits and vegetables from the local peddler, I saw tofu from the corner of my eye.

“Can I have a block of soft tofu, and a couple of fried tofu cakes?” “One more thing…would you mind if I take a picture of your store?”

“Go ahead.”

The shop had a couple of big pots, boilers, deep friers and refrigerators. At the back you could see their home with a five year old watching TV. Small businesses are on their way out, and I wouldn’t be surprised if keeping the old lady busy was the only reason the family still ran a tofu shop.

“Would you like to be in the picture?”

“Bad luck.”

When your business survived more than 60 years, who am I to argue against her superstitions. I hopped on my bike, and drove home to make miso soup with a piece of tofu history.

Michael Pollan is at it again

Michael Pollan had to throw his two cents, again, on food politics. After his book “The Omnivore’s dilemma” became a best-seller, he’s become the de facto spokesperson for a loosely-tied movement we may call “political foodies.”

This time he wrote an op-ed letter in the New York Times outlining his vision for the United State’s agricultural policy in years to come.

Some of the proposals are sound and sensible. They include a revamp of school lunches, subsidies that encourage farmers to rely less on oil-based fertilizers, an organic garden at the white house, support for regional food markets, etc.

He missed one point though that is huge. I’d be surprised if he wasn’t aware of it, but Americans need to scale back their consumption. No matter what type of agricultural system, the fact remains that Americans eat a bigger of world resources than they would be proportionally allocated. His solution is to promote local slaughter houses and foods that don’t travel 1,500 miles to get to your plate (the average for the US), but at heart this country needs to scale back its consumption of animal protein dramatically.

Better than sex

“Out of control”

“Orgasm in my mouth”

“Better than sex”

“I’m done for the day”

For the first time, people thought my food was as good, if not better, than sex. I wish I could take credit for the recipe, but I followed step by step a recipe by Pierre Herme. I’m pasting the recipe with my comments so you can start a culinary orgy of your own.

Mozart

Cinnamon dough

[This is the most frustrating dough I've ever made...it's fragile to the point of ridiculous, and at room temperature it has the consistency of peanut butter, which makes it hard to roll...good thing the recipe yields enough to screw up several times and still get the cake done]

2 sticks plus 5 tablespoons softened unsalted butter (10.5 oz)
1/3 cup plus 2 tablespoons icing sugar
1/3 cup plus 1 tablespoon finely ground blanched almonds
3 hard-boiled large egg yolks at room temperature and pushed through a fine strainer
2 teaspoons cinnamon
pinch of salt
1 tablespoon dark rum
pinch of baking powder
2.25 cups all-purpose flour.

Beat the butter in a processor until creamy (or by hand). Add the sugar, almonds, egg yolks, cinnamon and salt. Mix until incorporated. Add the rum. Mix the flour and baking powder together and add it slowly. Mix until everything comes together. It will be soft and similar to peanut butter cookie dough.

Divide into three portions. Wrap each portion in plastic and press them down to a disc shape. Cool in the refrigerator at least 4 hours and up to 2 days.

Flour your work area and roll the dough to about 1/8 inch thick. Cut it like a cookie with a 22cm dessert ring (or something else if you don’t have one — but they’re cheap and handy to put the cake togther). Prick it all over with a fork. Transfer it to a piece of parchment paper

[The dough is extremely fragile. The best way to transfer it is with the removable bottom of a tart pan. Do not try to pick up the parchment paper from the sides after baking it...it will break!]

Bake it for 18-20 minutes in a 350F oven until honey brown. Let it cook on a rack, parchment paper and all. Make three discs. If you have leftovers, you can make cookies.

[Either my oven is hot or the recipe needs to be calibrated...I burnt two discs by baking them 18 minutes. Mine were done in 12 mins].

The Mousse

1 large Granny Smith or another tart apple
1/4 cup sugar
1/8 tsp cinnamon
1 tbsp unsalted butter (0.5oz)
2 tbsp dark rum
1/3 cup heavy cream
1 cinnamon stick, broken
8oz bittersweet chocolate, 66% cacao
6 large eggwhites

Peel and core the apple. Cut it into small cubes (1/4 inch per side) and toss them with 1 tbsp of the sugar and the cinnamon. Melt the butter in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Let the butter turn light brown and add the apples. Cook them fast. You want them to caramelize, but not to turn into apple sauce. At the end, flambee everything with the rum. Set aside and cool to room temperature.

Pour the cream into a small saucepan and add the cinnamon stick. Bring to boil. Remove from heat, cover and let it infuse for 10 minutes.

Melt the chocolate over simmering water. Strain the cream and mix it with the chocolate, making ganache.

Whip the egg whites. When they start to grow, slowly add the sugar and continue beating untl they form glossy stiff peaks.

Wait until the chocolate cools to 104F. This is important…if you mix the chocolate while it’s too hot or too cold, the mousse won’t work. Fold 1/4 of the meringue into the chocolate. Fold the rest together with the apples. Once you make the mousse, you need to assemble the cake immediately.

To assemble

Put a 22cm dessert ring on a serving platter. Put one disk of the cinnamon dough and cover with 1/2 the mousse. Put another disk and add the rest of the mousse. Finish with a last disk of dough (hopefully the one that is still complete). Press it down to set and chill for at least 30 minutes or up to eight hours.

To decorate

Remove the dessert ring by running a warm sponge on the outside to loosen it up or blowing with a hair dryer. Pierre Herme recommends that you add chocolate curls to the outside, arrange apple slices on top coated with apple jelly, dust cocoa powder and put a couple of cinnamon sticks on top. In my case, I ran out of time, so I dusted the whole cake with cocoa powder and put some gold leaf on top. The result? My cake looked like I picked it up from a swamp, so nobody expected the explosion of flavors.

There you have it, orgasm a la Mozart.