5 things to eat before you die

I’ve been writing my thesis in full swing for the last couple of weeks, and haven’t had much time to cook. My meals consisted of as many variations of an egg I could think of that would cook in less than five minutes.

I’ve seen the “5 things to eat before you die” post in a lot of blogs, and since I haven’t cooked anything I can write about, I tagged myself. Here it goes, my own version of the five things you should eat before sayonara time:

1. Milk straight out of a cow

It should still be warm, otherwise it doesn’t count.

I’m advocating for this one not because the milk tastes any better, but because it brings into perspective the obvious: cow milk is designed to raise a calf, not a person. Drinking it straight from the cow feels like drinking whipping cream, and the temperature feels like urine. I thought it tasted disgusting, and brought to light the industrial process that milk goes through before it turns into anything I find edible (and I do eat lots of butter, yogurt and cheese).

I used to think of a cow as just another animal. Now I imagine them as a human-designed machine to produce food for us. There is no such thing as a natural cow, but their raw milk still feels too “animaly” to be comfortable for me.

2. A Chirimoya

In English it’s known as a custard apple. It comes from the central valley of Chile, and is one of the most beautiful fruits ever. The flesh is soft, creamy and white, with a mix of sweet and tangy. It’s perfection, except that it doesn’t travel well. The fruit is bound to get bruised, which makes it an unlikely candidate for exports.

I imagine the trees would also grow in California, but I have yet to see one of them in shops in North America.

3. A tasting menu of simple things while high on mushrooms

First off, you need to eat mushrooms. Not just any mushrooms, but the kind that messes you up. Unfortunately, they taste like nothing at best, and pretty disgusting at worst.

After your perception of distance and sound is completely screwed up, go to the kitchen, pick up some everyday foods and try them one by one. I recommend being careful with the knife; you never know if you might end up staring at your wounds for 1/2 hour while slowly bleeding away.
I had never realized how fresh a cucumber is, the searing hotness of a chile, or how oily olive oil can be until I tried them while high on mushrooms. It will completely change your perception of taste and you’ll see your everyday ingredients in a different light.

Incidentally, I read that they found bread loafs from the middle ages, and the yeasts they used had some hallucinogens in them. Combined with the fact that people drank an average of 3 liters of beer per day, the whole middle ages start making a lot more sense.

4. Ceviche

Ceviche is the Latin American counterpart to sashimi. The only difference is that the Japanese preserved their fish with vinegar, while Latin Americans did it with lemon juice.

My favorite ceviche is salmon with avocado — cut some salmon into small pieces, mix them with olive oil, red onions, avocado and a generous amount of lemon juice, let it sit for 1/2 hour, and serve. Tastes amazing.

The basic ceviche is raw fish marinated in lemon juice. Works with almost any fish, and you can add whatever toppings you want after that. For some weird reason, Ecuadorians add popcorn. I’d recommend against that one.

Keep this stuff away from the fish!

5. Bread and butter

Pretty simple, most people eat it, but it tops my list of favourite comfort foods.